5 Years of Solitude Part 3

Part 3 May 3, 2023

here's some more, about how living in my 5 years of solitude, things just got even more "solitary."

it led to me "losing it," there, for a lil' bit.

"alarm" can do that to a person...!

i got a text from my local "healthcare provider today.

regarding the "controlled substance," i am on. i call it "medicine," from my doc, because that's what it is, and it has been prescribed to me for a very long time. successfully!

alas, once again, my attempts at a "normal life," aided by prescribed medication for the last 25 years, under observation (without incidents,) are being hindered by a new, "marginalizing" rule, created by bureaucrats, not doctors.

it feels like i was just provided with a little nudge, so i'm closer now, to the abyss, and can look even further down. Yay!

but then, in the grand scheme of the federal government, my situation doesn't matter one bit. they have been proving that to me, over the last few years, by putting me between a rock and a hard place, a lil' more every time a new "rule," or "guideline," comes along. it's worrying to think where this might, ultimately, be headed, for "mad ole me...!?"

i can report that it's extremely depressing, where i'm at, in the "be here now."

am tryin' to move on from it. it's very difficult. as there is no choice. they're allowed to "stick" me into whatever "Bracket" they want. they can "Call" me what they want, and "Define" me without caring who i am.

i resent that, strongly, as a human being, a person having to use "mental health care," and as a disabled person, as well as a citizen. that, of course, makes me unpopular.

which, in turn, takes us back to the subject of truth, and what happens when the truth is inconvenient. ironically, most truths turn out to be just that, for someone, somewhere...

so, let's revisit the subject of choice.

they make me feel choice-less, so i get angry.

now it's time to think and to create a choice.

objection, that is my choice.

after all, fortunately, i have that open to me.

sending a letter to my senator is taking on shape in my mind. it will be a job to write it. it needs to "hit the mark."

should not be a problem.

however, i have some other work to do first.

but, it's on my list, yes it is!