Can I Do That? (Write about my Agoraphobia) Let's see...

 

Can I Really Do That?

tomorrow morning, it'll be nine long days.

nine days, again, since i left my house.

i've been wanting to leave, so much,

on every one of those days.

but they were 'agoraphobia days.'

and, during these endless days, 

nobody, and nothing, goes anywhere.

although, each day, i wake up in the hope,

that today will be one of those days, 

where i'll be free. free to, finally, 

go where i wish to go,

and do what i have to do.

after all, i must take care of myself, right?

so i've lived with this for years now. 

never knowing what the next day brings,

if anything at all, including what i need,

on any given day, in order to survive.

can i be blamed if i curse that day, 

the one when my self-quarantine started.

because it was the last day,

where i woke up fearless,

 and with trust in my heart.

will there ever be another day like that?

and, lastly, will just one of you, 

ever, on any given day, 

come to see me, and tell me that,

 today, you do understand, 

 even if only a little and, that it's ok? 

and, that this will be a day, 

where i won't have to 

feel so left out...

Corinne Wesley, August 25. 2023